Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Different worlds

James Brown once sang:

This is a man's, man's, man's world
But it wouldn't be nuthin'
Without a woman, or a girl

"It's a sexist thing to say. Absolutely! Yes, honey. I know. It doesn't matter that he kind of said something nice about women. It's still horrible. I'm sorry he sang it. Had I only been there to stop him, I would have done so. Honestly, honey. I'm sorry he wrote those lyrics 40 years ago, before I was born and could do anything about it. I'll burn the CD right away. I promise."

James Brown, you male chauvinist pig, get thee to a National Organization of Women rally, and pronto. You just cost me my share of sex for the foreseeable future.

With my imaginary girlfriend now on her way to the store to spend all my money and the Godfather of Soul now sequestered inside a crowd of angry women--may God spare the poor bastard's soul--say we turn the tables. Let's entertain a silly little hypothesis:

In a parallel universe, women rule a world much like ours.

Stay with me.

In this woman's world in a parallel universe, a Godmother of Soul enjoys a notoriety much like James Brown's. The question is this:

Would she ever even consider penning, with a sentiment much like James Brown's, the lyrics to this parallel universe's equivalent of "It's a Man's Man's Man's World"?

Our universe isn't so bad, you know.