I have seen the world's best ass

Today I saw the best ass ever. You have not seen an ass better than the ass I saw this evening.

Stop right there. You're wrong.

Whatever ass you've seen that you think competes with the one I saw, quite simply, doesn't. I've seen plenty of ass in my day, and tonight's takes the cake.

The ass belongs to an unassuming young lady at the nearby bookstore. An ass so perfect, it surely sends breast men everywhere back to the drawing board, where I am this very moment.

Frankly, I wish I'd never seen this ass this evening, for ignorance is bliss, and ass from this day forward, for me, will never be the same.