How to Win the Nobel Peace Prize in One Day

You know what, Joel Stein? The POTUS himself, as well as your article in TIME Magazine, has inspired me today. If Barack Obama can win the Nobel Peace Prize after completing barely nine months in office and accomplishing very little of worldly caliber beforehand, then I ought to be able to win this accolade in just one day's time.

Do you see how that works, Joel? When you deride Sarah Palin for writing her autobiography in "just four months," you expose your hypocrisy. And you invite shame -- not that you care.

Perhaps I'll follow this up with an easy layup:

If, as you imply, Sarah Palin should have devoted more than four months to the writing of her autobiography-worthy life account, then certainly you agree that Barack should have at least written "Dreams From My Father," the account of his quotidian life prior to even becoming a presidential candidate, himself.