The time I tried to be Shakespeare on e-mail

E-mail sent to my fellow professor friend and his friend, a new friend of mine:

Hello, Dr. Evil and Dr. Evil's Evil Twin --

I have been busy today at the office building, assembly line for the white collar proletariat. The luxury of time, that prerequisite that sets the stage for the drafting and sending of witty e-mails, has eluded me since the morning's wee hours.

But now, in the ephemeral elapse of an instant's time -- no thematic development intended -- all has changed. I take stock in the marketing proposal progress made and say, "This is boring to do."

Monotony exacts its toll, friends. The nebulous modus operandi of my superior annoy me to no end. Her invariably vague suggestions collude with an approach drenched in micromanagement. It boggles the mind and encourages me to cease work a full hour and a half in advance of official quitting time. To wit:

Right now, I am not working. Ambition once accompanied me but has now fled. It displays a caprice of equal opportunity that cares not whether work needs finishing. Indolence knows no bounds.