You are an inspiration
 
Do any readers out there remember the Righteous Brothers? They used to sing stuff like this:
 
You're my soul and my heart's inspiration
You're all I got to get me by
You're my soul and my heart's inspiration
Without you baby what good am I?
Oh, what good am I?
 
Yeah, we’re talking about those wussies who used to write about a bunch of sentimental crap that chicks dig and guys, deep down, think but hate to admit. The scientists at Brent’s Polemics have discovered what fuels all this madness.
 
Evolution has driven women to leave their men. What do men do when their women leave them? They drink. And what do men do when they drink? They sing about how they are worthless without the women who have left them—basically, a bunch of sentimental crap.
 
Why? Why don’t hapless men just go get new chicks and start banging again?
 
It’s simple, really. Millennia of biological and social development have programmed men to want to please hot women, and when they fail to please the hot women they want to bang, and the hot women put a stop to the banging, we men lapse into deep despair. After all, we are the providers and pursuers, and banging, interrupted, tells us we’ve failed.
 
Brent’s Polemics' scientists encourage you to proclaim from atop the nearest full-size SUV, “Screw that.”